


Why me and Not Yourself?

by ToLiveorSurvive



Category: The 100 (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 22:46:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30045924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToLiveorSurvive/pseuds/ToLiveorSurvive
Summary: The scene in season 6 episode 2 when Abby talks with Octavia for a minute while they are trapped in the mess hall with a few more things said.
Relationships: Octavia Blake & Abby Griffin
Kudos: 3





	Why me and Not Yourself?

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah this work is a bit shorter. Wrote it in like a couple hours. Basically all of my hate of Abby summed up enough to fit this story. Might repeat a bit here or there.

Octavia was staring at the mess hall door when she saw Abby walking towards her with a tin bowl of algae out of the corner of her eye.

“Should I drink it first?”, Abby asked.

“We’ve eaten worse”, Octavia deadpanned, grabbing the bowl and taking a sip. “If you want my help getting us out of here, all you have to do is ask.”

“I came over here to warn you”, Abby said. “All these people are from the Ark, and they have all lost loved ones in Praimfaya.”

“I know who they are”, Octavia said. “They blame me for their sins, even though it was your idea.”

“Yes”, Abby confirmed. “The difference is, is that I regret it. You only regret having lost.”

Octavia exhaled angrily through her nose and put the bowl of algae down. “What part of it do you regret Abby?”

The doctor remained silent.

“The part where we had to eat people who were already dead?”, Octavia continued. “The part where we had to kill people who were going to die anyway? I don’t regret it because it was necessary. I don’t get why you regret it because it was your idea. And you clearly thought it was a good one since you offered it to me. But if you do regret it, why not own up to it instead of blaming me for it? Why not take some fucking responsibility instead of holding me accountable for just following your advice? And anyway, regretting what you did doesn’t do any good. Just because you feel bad about something doesn’t make it all better and make it so we can forgive you and it certainly doesn’t make you any better than me. Like I said before, I may be a monster but so are you. In fact, you contributed to making into the monster that I am. McCreary and Diyoza would have surrendered and even if they didn’t the battle would have been easier if you, Kane, and everyone else didn’t complicate everything.”

“You could have stayed in Polis”, Abby retorted. “You could have lived off the Hydrofarm. You could have rebuilt the Earth instead of sending all of those people to their deaths.”

“Here we go again”, Octavia said. “You want to know why I did what I did?”

Abby nodded.

“Fine”, Octavia said. “We went through all of that stuff in the bunker so we could actually live instead of survive. We did not go through all of that to continue to live in the place where those things happened. The Hydrofarm had already failed us twice and I did not want it to fail us again and be forced to go through another Dark Year. And who says we would have been safe if we stayed in Polis? Diyoza and McCreary still could’ve, and most likely would’ve, attacked us there. Anyway, we wouldn’t be here now if you and Kane weren’t selling us out to them.”

“You could have made peace with them. You could have stopped the bloodshed if you surrendered to them.”

“Seriously?”, Octavia could feel the anger rising in her voice. “This again? Why should I have trusted a group of murdering psychopaths who wanted us all killed in the first place? I did not want the bloodshed to end with all of us being dead. But I think I might understand Kane. He was a traitor, but he just didn’t want us to lose anymore of our humanity. He didn’t want us to cross the line like in the Dark Year. He was just desperate. But you… You just want to save him so you can continue to feel like you are in the right. You refuse to take responsibility and be the bad guy for once. Sure, you admit what you did, say that you regret it but continue to blame me and because you hope it will make you seem better than me or you use Kane to completely justify yourself. Well again, if you admit what you did was wrong and you feel bad about it why not tell everyone?”

“Octavia-”, Abby started.

“Get away from me!”, Octavia yelled. Everyone else in the mess hall stared at her.

Abby turned around. “It’s okay”, she told them. Then she walked away.

Octavia slid her bowl away and gazed back again at the door.

**Author's Note:**

> I know probably not as good as the last fic but this was just something I kind of wrote in the moment. 
> 
> And I will now sign off with my motto thing:
> 
> To live or survive,  
> I'm just trying to stay alive


End file.
